I am not Canadian

Voici une courte chanson humoristique pour vous divertir. Vous pouvez la télécharger en toute légalité et lire les paroles en même temps (dans le cas où vous ne comprendriez pas tout rien qu'à l'oreille, ce qui est mon cas).

I am not Canadian
(Uncle Vince (Pete Cugno) sur la Radio Edge 102)

I'm not unemployed, or smuggling cigarettes across the border.
I don't eat Pepsi and Mae Wests for breakfast.
I don't watch the hockey game doin' it doggy style.
And non, I don't know Claude, Manon or François in Abitibi-Témiscamingue;
but I'm sure dey all 'ave nice teeth.
I smoke in church.
I speak Québécois and Joual; not French or Hanglish [sic];
and I pronounce it 'turd', not 'third'.
And eating french fries with cheese makes sense, mon esti;
I believe in distinct society – as long as someone else pays for it.
I believe in language police, not equal rights.
And, calice, I believe that "Club Super Sexe" is an appropriate place for my wife and me to celebrate our anniversaire!
What da hell, she goes on at ten, anyway!
In Québec, the Stanley Cup actually comes round more often than Halley's Comet.
I can get beer at the dépanneur, not at the convenience store.
And maybe I can't turn right on a red light, but, tabarnac, I can go right through it!
Because Québec is the world's largest producer of maple syrup, the 'ome of Céline Dion and Roch Voisine;
The land where everybody is shackin' up, and the legal drinking age is just a suggestion.
Je m'appelle Guy - and h'I [sic] h'am [sic] not Canadian. (Mautadit tabarnac esti...)

Merci salut la visite!